11/17/2013: Hunh. Anchorage gun store owner is a multi-offense criminal. Imagine that.
November 17, 2013


Who would have thunk that a gun store owner would be a criminal.  Throw the book at him.

11/08/2013: Shots fired in Anchorage by psycho with a gun
November 15, 2013


It’s soooo great that we can’t have background checks all weapons.  We need those loopholes.  How else will the loopy kill other people?  I’m glad that Anchorage folks paid for all of that police time, making it easier for other criminals to be criminals while this criminal used his gun.

10/27/2013: Another dead Alaskan in Anchorage due to gunshot
November 15, 2013


Everyone who owns a gun or has given money to pro-gun groups is responsible for this.  Without the gun, this almost certainly does not happen.  Thanks, gun owners!

10/25/2013: Anchorage man threatens with gun, then wastes everybody’s time
October 26, 2013


Thanks gun owners, for making this man possible.  I’m glad our taxes have to be spent on this guy and not on, say, education or anything.

10/18/2013: Anchorage moose calves face winter without Mom thanks to gun owner’s poor decision skills
October 21, 2013


It’s really not that hard to ride a bike past some moose.  This particular moose was 25′ away.  It posed no threat.  But because this gun owner suffers from small penis, small brain syndrome, he shot and wounded a moose, letting it suffer for a few days before police found it and put it out of its misery.

Gun owners have very poor judgement, made obvious upon owning a gun, and made even more obvious when the gun is used.  Gun owners make me absolutely sick to my stomach.

I would hope that the a-hole gun owner who did this to the mama moose would suffer an equally horrific death, but that would bring me to their level, so I won’t go there.  A hefty fine and some outdoor community service in January would do nicely.

10/20/2013: Two shot in Jewel Lake at a “party”
October 20, 2013

Clearly, more guns are needed, because the ones we have right now are not enough.  We need more guns.  That would solve the problem of death and injury by gunshot.


10/09/2013: Gun owner uses gun to make crime easier
October 14, 2013


It’s neat that so many people (gun owners) work really hard to make sure that guns are available to everyone!  Think what would happen if there weren’t any guns–I mean, there might not be any guns.  We can’t have that!

9/29/2013: Anchorage man is shot by a person with a gun, not a person without a gun, imagine that.
October 2, 2013


But we need more guns, cuz that totally prevents this stuff.

8/29/2013: Ooopsie, my gun accidentally went off twice and we’re both shot now
August 30, 2013


Clearly, guns do shoot people.  But nevermind.  It’s a good idea to have firearms in your house cuz they’re totally going to be used to thwart a home invasion and won’t just make your homeowner’s insurance higher (because it’s actually a bad idea to have firearms in your home).  Insurance companies have very, very good statisticians (actuaries), and these folks see the numbers, and charge you accordingly.  Yay smart!

8/21/2013: Anchorage gun owner shoots at passing police officer
August 21, 2013



It’s really soooo great that a gun owner did this, a gun owner that the rest of you gun owners argued had the “right” to have this weapon.  At least, you argued that up until the time that he fired at the police, didn’t you?  DIDN’T YOU?